Grade Schools Gifted Program Admits Kids Who Can Emotionally Handle Time Away From iPad

Title: Grade Schools Gifted Program Admits Kids Who Can Emotionally Handle Time Away From iPad

Date: May 28th, 2025 Page: Front Page

Author: The Onion (Unstated journalist)

Link: https://theonion.com/grade-schools-gifted-program-admits-kids-who-can-emotionally-handle-time-away-from-ipad/

 

Summary:

In this satirical piece, the author states that Middlebrook Elementary school in Nashua, NH, has recently developed a gifted program which is catered towards students who are able to manage the emotional stress of being away from their iPads. Principal Terri Van Euler emphasized "our gifted and talented program is an elite option that is definitely not for everyone," "the program's rigorous academic setting is suited only for the best at their school, those who are able to do school work for up to 40 minutes without any screen time." She acknowledges that this is a big ask, even for adults but it is a key expectation from all in the gifted program. While the use of iPads is restricted, gifted students are permitted unrestricted access to their phones and Apple watches. This is in place as to not be too harsh on the students and to help them get through their studies iPad-less.

Thoughts:

While this article is clearly satire, I find it tells a lot about the society we currently live in. The article pokes fun at how people are glued to their devices and the diminishing attention span we all seem to be struggling with. And while their approach to explaining this is more of a lighthearted one, I believe it's an issue we should all be concerned with. Almost no one my age reads anymore, including myself, we just don't seem to have the attention span for it and I don't blame us. Short form content and all the instantly accessible dopamine available on Social Media makes it so hard to even want to pick up a book. This translates deeply into the real world; worse work ethic, more apathy and widespread mental health all seem to be symptoms of this screen time epidemic. That being said, I do like this article quite a bit, the humour in it is very timely and I appreciate the author tying it into a "program" as if its something school may actually consider implementing.

photo taken from the article showing a kid having his iPad taken away.